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A Christmas Recap


01-16-2009

After the holidays, the familiar greeting shared from one to another, "Did you have a good Christmas?" is a standard conversation starter. It always makes me pause and reflect on what the definition of "good" means to different people. "Good" seems to commonly entail, "Did you get the gifts you wanted this year?" or "Was your holiday vacation packed full of parties, food and socializing?"

"Good" means something completely different to me now. If you had asked me this past summer to mentally fast forward to Christmastime, I would have told you that my biggest fear was that I would be celebrating the holiday with only four children, not five. In a heartbeat I would gladly strip away all the decorations, the tree, the lights, the gifts--if only to have my entire family safe and sound. I have to swallow past an enormous lump in my throat when I think of the many families we have encountered along the way who lost their precious children this past year and have had to experience their first Christmas without them. I know that for them, it's not solely the absence of gifts under the tree that hurts the most--it's the raw loss of making future holiday memories with that child, it's the crushing realization that the holiday excitement is now minus one less smile and one less shriek of delight, and it's the painful reminder that although others may be celebrating around them, they will forever have to cope with the ache of missing their beloved one. It's a space in their home and heart that can never be filled again, even amidst the joyfulness that surrounds them. To all of our dear, dear friends who are struggling to cope this season, we remember your beautiful children and think of you often. Your friendships have become all the more treasured to our family because of our journey with you in the hospital.

I cannot ever look at our Jaymun without remembering what a special gift it is to still have him with us. He is an ever constant testament to the existence of the miraculous and an homage to the faithfulness of a God who is still very much alive and loves this little boy even more than we do. How sweet and many our blessings have been. Though our finances have been tight and the bills seem to keep pouring in, we consider ourselves to be rich indeed.

So yes, we had a good Christmas. We hope yours was one of overflowing goodness too.

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