While the Angels Watched
While the Angels watched, Baby took his first breath
While the Angels watched, Wondring at the new life
And the Father smiled, Baby stretched his arms
Drank his Momma's love, Cuddled safe and warm
And the life God gave, Priceless gift of love
More than angels' power, Reaching, touching us
Yes the Lord of love, Blessed us with a sweet smile
Thank Him for this joy, While the angels watch;
He's the One we thank, He's the One we love, He's the One we praise...
While the angels watch.
Angels brought the news, Clouds covered the sun
Joy turned into fear, Dreadful sorrow came
There's no guarantee, Words can't give it back
Cancer like a thief, Stole our joy away
Human angels came, Their best efforts gave
Fragile hope is all, Still no promise there
For the life He made, How we need Him right now
His Name on the line, While the angels watch;
He's the One we need, He's the One we want, He's the One we ask...
While the angels watch.
When the crisis came, Angels witnessed the cries
Baby lay near death, Angels gatherd around
Living through the pain... Crying and confused.
Struggling suffering, Blinded by the tears
Why are angels here? What will they do now?
Take our baby home? Give him back to us?
Not the angels now, Nothing that we can do
Need the Lord of all, Nothing less than Him;
Just one Word will do, He can feel our pain, He can heal our son...
As the angels watch.
Quietly He walks, Angels moving aside
Knowing what to do, Life is in His hand
Firmly He commands, Nothing can resist
So our baby lives, Who could tell Him no?
Sickness can attack, Troubles storm our life
Demon worries howl, Men and angels fear
Yet we are secure, He's our Champion and Friend
He stands by His Word, Never lets us down;
He's the One I trust, He's the One I love, He's the One I praise...
While the angels watch.
Copyright (c) 2007 Dave Kaat
All Rights Reserved
..."in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven." Matt 18:10
Baby Dedication Notes: Sunday July 26, 2007
This past year seems like a life all to itself. What a ride of ups and downs.
It all came together again for me last month when I took Jaymun down to the hospital to get his blood-transfusion-access-lines removed. That was because they do not need them any more ...he is in remission.
And on the way to the hospital for this one last surgery I was begging for the Lord's presence ...and it broke through for me as I went past North Ave - about a mile from the hospital. I was asking for the Lord's help ...and for angels to guide the hands of the doctors - and it was like I could see the face of the Lord and he was telling me "Dave ...I have not let you down ...if you needed angels you would have a hundred of them - but I am here - I was here the entire time."
Wow - I was crying and laughing in the car at the same time. I sat with Jaymun before surgery for about an hour - just smiling in the room with tears running out of my eyes. What a celebration - what a feeling of safety. God delights so much to thrill us with his love and re-assurances.
But I have to admit - this year wasn't always that way for me. I visited some scary mental places and poked around the edges of faith a bit. Some questions are easier to answer for others... rather than your own self. Questions like: "Why is there such sickness? Why do little babies get cancer? Will God answer our prayers? Why then do some people die anyway?"
Dying is easer for me to deal with if it is myself I am thinking about. I know at some point I will die.
If it so happens that I am praying real hard for God to heal me of some sickness and suddenly I wake up in heaven hearing God's voice "Well done - thou good and faithful servant" ...I'm not going to be arguing with God at that point.
I know to get home with Jesus I'm going to have to die ...I'm going to have to let go of this body.
So sometimes I think we have problems with our bodies so that we don't get too comfortable with them ...the breakdowns are just reminders that our bodies are going to wear out and we will leave them behind.
But our baby - it just seems so grossly unfair. That a sweet little baby who should start life full of hugs and kisses, and warm snuggles would start life with six months of pokes, disturbances, bright lights, pounding headaches, blinding pain, retching nausea, horrible tastes, teetering on the brink of death before his life even started.
Then I remind myself that God never wanted this world to be this way - it is our own choices that brought this kind of pain. The "little" compromises we allow in our lives are part of a much uglier root that God can see - and we only discover how horrible sin is, when we see results like little Jaymun two months old with his hair all falling out and sores in his mouth and throat.
So, believe me, since I have not been anywhere near perfect in my life (understatement) - there were many times (those months) that I'd walk that long skyway into Children's Hospital praying for forgiveness for myself, begging God not to afflict my family because of my own life.
And then I'd come up to that little dark room - where my baby son was suffering quietly in his bed, and I would get that familiar urgency. I've never felt anything like it in my life. The easiest way to explain it was a question that I've put to quite a few parents. "What would you do if your little baby was deathly sick - and you heard that Jesus - just like in the Bible times - was walking down the road in front of your house? What would you do? And the answer is always the same: "Well of course we would gather up our child and run out to Him" So then I ask "and would he heal them?" And after shrugging a bit - everyone has to admit - "Well... yes... If I was standing in front of Jesus... and asked him while holding my child in my arms - and he saw my worry and my pain - Yes... of course he would heal my child. So then my follow up question is this "Is Jesus any LESS accessible today than He was back then?"
So if I had to stay home more than a day or so - leaving Jen and Jaymun alone down at the hospital - I'd get nervous - I'd feel this responsibility to go down there and hold my son, and take him to the Lord to show Him that Jaymun still needed to be healed. I didn't understand why he still wasn't healed - and why it was taking so long. In fact - I had thought God would have healed him already. Even right at the beginning, in July, before he started the chemo-therapy one night when I fell asleep holding Jaymun and praying for him - I woke up sure that the Lord had heard me - and was right in the room that night. So I couldn't understand why he still had spots and why the cancer kept coming back. I felt like - "Lord, you have given me this responsibility as a father - and it is too hard - where are you?"
Well - now I have a bit better perspective, and I think that yes, God wants us to expect Him to answer our prayers. But sometimes He makes an exception - and waits a little longer - for some other purpose He has.
You have all heard this story before ...so fast forward back to the present - to where I started this story - on the way to Milwaukee last month for Jaymun's final surgery. I felt like the Lord was saying - "Dave - this is much bigger than you, and I have been here for you. I love you and I have been faithful. You ask for Angels - don't forget I am your Champion, you don't need to worry. All the angels are witnesses to what I do."
The feeling was so intense - I can't describe it entirely.
When I got home I wrote the song above
...about this past year and what God means to me as Father and Saviour.
