Would you like Paper or Plastic?
Jaymun has once again come back to the HOT unit. Dave and I brought him in to the emergency room with a fever last night. They took blood cultures from him and today we were told he has another bacterial infection. They started him on antibiotics and gave him a platelet transfusion. This is really scary stuff to us. When your little baby starts shaking and his eyes are rolling back into his head and his body is just burning up, you want to do something to stop it all. We aren't medical people. None of this is "routine" to us. We're just a mom and a dad who love our baby with all our hearts.
Luckily, our night nurse Evelyn was on duty. If there was one comforting thing out of the whole experience, it was seeing her when we came upstairs from the emergency room. She makes the hospital feel like home, even when we're surrounded by these unfriendly sterile walls. I can't explain how reassured I am by the sight of Jaymun's nurses when his illness throws these frightening situations at us.
Dave and I are both worn out. There is so little time to do anything but the very most basic things. When we sat waiting in the darkened ER room with Jaymun, we ate out of a white lunch bag from the cafeteria. Paper bowls, plastic silverware, etc. Dave looked at me and said, "Isn't this romantic?" But this is what our life has been reduced to. Stethoscopes and IV poles. Blood counts and antibiotics. Medications and blood transfusions. Hour-long car rides and wrinkled clothes hastily thrown into duffel bags. There is no time to think, or relax, or just be.
But we have this little baby who needs us. He needs us in a very real way. He needs us to keep it together for his sake. We are trying our best to make it work because there is no giving up on him. Quitting is not an option. Jaymun hasn't stopped fighting and that's enough reason for us to get up everyday and keep plugging away. He is a tough little guy. A brave little boy. He smiles up at us even when there doesn't seem to be any hope left in his day.
And for that huge grin of his, we would do anything....even if it requires eating from a paper bag.