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Normal Is In The Eye of the Beholder


Jaymun finished up his sixth day of chemo today. Yesterday he had a blood transfusion since his hemoglobin was dropping low. His stomach seems to be bothering him a bit today--he's been throwing up more than usual today. It most likely is all the chemo meds messing with his poor tummy. The next few days and weeks will be the time period where mouth sores and infections seem to develop and I'm a bit nervous about that-the mouth sores can get pretty bad and when he got them last month during chemo, he wasn't able to eat for a couple of days. All in all, he's really just being his usual happy self and I'm trying to make sure he eats and sleeps well to keep everything in balance.

Since his ANC count was still fairly good today, the hospital let us out on a six hour pass. We need to be careful about Jaymun being out in public or closed-in places where germs love to congregate, so a fresh air outing seems to be the best option. Jaymun and I have been literally cooped up since he was born-we've gone NOWHERE except back and forth from home to hospital. I wasn't about to let this day go to waste--it was a golden opportunity to get some fresh air and exercise (another thing I haven't experienced in a loooong time!) I called Dave and he brought Sean and Devon down to the hospital--Devon was so excited to be picked up early from school. We decided to go to the zoo for a few hours since the weather was beautiful and we could walk around without exposing Jaymun to germs.

In case I sound overly happy about the zoo, I might remind everyone that this was an unusual day for us. Normally I am in the hospital, surrounded by the same walls day in and day out, taking care of Jaymun. Yes, I was what you call giddy. For a few hours, we seemed like a normal family--taking in the sights and enjoying a perfect autumn afternoon. Jaymun enjoyed the stroller ride and seemed to love the fresh air, enjoying a little naptime snooze. Our boys were excited to race around, pointing out all the animals to us. I could walk alongside my husband and just pretend for a bit that all was well. Of course, I know differently..I knew at the end of our little outing we'd be back to the same old hospital room and Dave would have to drive home without me. But it felt good-no, refreshing-to just be in the moment together. Devon kept saying, "Mom, this is the best day ever!" (A phrase we hear often from him, but still precious nevertheless!) I echoed his sentiments--it did feel pretty darn good to be out and about.

There's nothing new I can say about the zoo--animals and more animals. I'll leave you with this picture of how our outing is different than other people: we had to give Jaymun eyedrops and  anti-nausea medication at one point...definitely not "normal", but when I see how sweetly he's looking at his daddy pushing the syringes into his central line, I could care less what normal is.

All I see is a perfect day.