The other day I was sitting on the floor with Jaymun playing with his duplos (large lego bricks).
We were building a wall ...staggering the bricks just like the cinder-blocks laid by any good mason.
Jaymun was happily "helping". Of course he had no idea the pattern I had in mind - Jaymun is just happy to
spend time with me, and as long as our structure was getting larger - he was excited.
"Building a wall Daeee? Oooohahaha loookit dat! A big wall! Makeen a garage? A garage for a twain?
ChooooChooo! Twain in the garage!!! (as he shoves train in and breaks the wall down :)"
Jaymun would "help" haphazardly pushing bricks onto the wall (off-center and jutting out).
"Good Job Buddy!!!"
Then, while he was distracted, I'd rearrange them to make the wall stronger. Or I'd guide his hand showing him where to start the next one.
Once he got upset when he saw me move his brick ...but then I quickly showed him how to build more.
Jaymun was happy, the garage took shape, and when the project was done we drove the train in and out together.
If you've read any of my prior musings, you've probably figured out where I'm going with this.
...I've been thinking that our Father works with His children much the same.
We celebrate our own
drive, we cherish our "abilities" to plan and choose. But God sighs, and maintains discipline in ways
we might not immediately appreciate. Learning to recognize direction is a big part of thriving in relationship with Him.
Accepting His love might not be easy on our pride, but He made us ...His plans are both bolder and
...I wonder: "How much true significance is attached to what we initiate as opposed to what we are given
Quite often we fret when the bricks of our life seem to be coming loose
put those bricks there and they don't quite fit?
...Possibly God's hand is making room for a better plan that He sees for us?
We burn out
trying to pull God into our plan
when it is His own direction
the most meaning to our lives.
Psalm 127:1 "Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it..."
About a year ago we couldn't figure out where our Father was leading us.
We couldn't construct a plan with more traditional chemotherapy/transplant treatments ...every move we made tore even larger holes in Jaymun's body.
Last June (see post
) I was bemoaning the fact that it seemed like all options were taken away.
But now look how He helped us! Were you watching again recently?
Just last month our orally administered
herbal regimen slowly began to lower Jaymun's blood counts selective for the myeloid line
made his marrow temporarily hypocellular
(and megaloblastic - from the anti-folate component), while we were concurrently effective at containing and lowering CNS Acute Myeloid Leukemia
...then quickly recovering (compare labs
It may be clumsy to administer (#1
), but we have had repeated success with our routine
of using natural remedies to offset rising and falling waves of stimulation of
reactive oxygen species
against alternating matching and/or opposing waves of antioxidents, protease inhibition, cholesterol modulation, ATP depletion, antifolates,
epiginetic modifiers targeting (Bcl2, P53,NF Kappa B, HDAC etc.), differentiation inducers, and immune stimulants.
If properly managed that is a softer routine of herbs, spices, fungi, fatty acids, phytochemicals, etc.
This routine was effective!
based on real science
and since it affects cellular destination
by potently leveraging the signalling pathways
...it was selectively toxic to Jaymun's cancer (AML-m5) and required far lower (virtually non-toxic to the body) levels than traditional treatment (chemo/radiation) does.
At the very least it reduces complete dependance on traditional methods and dramatically alters broad treatment equations.
That is a direct answer to my cry for help in that bleak moment
...so today, a year to the day from when I started Jaymun's herbal treatment I say humbly
Thank you Father
...this is Your Day.
PS. The future is still unknown ...medically speaking only time will teach us the proper lessons.
However, at least we have been given one more precious year, and that is success worth celebrating.
If God kept us safe this year, we'll trust Him for the rest of the years also.
PPS. In hindsight the first lesson learned is that after the
good test on June 1, we should have extended the May/June herbal treatment much longer than June 15.
This is nothing to fool with. Although we had planned another diagonstic spinal tap the end of July
...it beat us to the punch by at least a week (see relapse 7/18)
Yet, even with that relapse, the oncologists agree we significantly improved the normal course of treatment.
Read more in depth review of the next months